How I Explain Christmas to our Interfaith* Kids
I’m actually going to start with the asterisk in the title of this blog post: we’re technically an interfaith family because Jon and I do not subscribe to the same religion, but Jon is an atheist. He was raised Anglican - Episcopalian, in American parlance - whose family practices - observes is too strong a word - some Christian holidays. The kids are being raised with a Jewish education, but I’m super clear with them that they can believe whatever they want.
Christmas has always been big for our little nuclear family. Jon’s family in England goes all out on Christmas and, despite being Jewish, I love the Christmas spirit/season; having been a chorister at Washington National Cathedral through my entire adolescence, I have an intimate understanding of the liturgical context, too.
On top of that, Robbie was born on December 25. We went to the National Gallery of Art in Washington when he was nearly two and saw lots of mother-and-child paintings, and we pointed out that Robbie and Jesus shared a birthday. Ever since then, Robbie’s felt a special affinity for Babycheezus, as Robbie called him.
We didn’t elaborate on the religious meaning of Christmas - or Jesus, for that matter - until Robbie was four and asked what Easter was about. At that point, I explained that some people, who are called Christians, believe that Jesus is the son of God. Thankfully, he didn’t express any theological wonder about that. (Still hasn’t, phew.) So, as far as I can tell, the kids just think that Jesus gets a really special birthday celebration because Christians believe he’s special.
Here’s where it gets tricky: none of us are Christians… but we celebrate Christmas. And Robbie, who calls himself Jewish, is now old enough that he’s identified the tension in that.
What I tell him when he asks is that Daddy isn’t Christian anymore but Daddy’s family still is, and the holiday is important to them and to Daddy even though he doesn’t believe in what it celebrates. Daddy’s family is our family, so that means the holiday is important to me, too, even though I don’t believe in what it celebrates. And so we celebrate Christmas!
The kids know that my family, though they also love the Christmas spirit/season and join us on Christmas Day when we’re in DC for it, do not celebrate Christmas. We give them Hanukkah presents and, while we - Jon, the kids, and I - celebrate both holidays, they give us what are definitely Hanukkah (not Christmas) presents.
So that’s how we explain what we do and why regarding Christmas to our interfaith kids! Happy to answer any questions you might have in the comments below.
