How I Meal Plan and Cook Real Dinners (While Working and Momming), Part One

I remember Kate Baer answering a question years ago about how she was able to read so much with four young children at home. “I make the time,” she said. I’m paraphrasing here to the best of my memory, but she explained that reading was self-care for her; it was crucial for the maintenance of her mental health. She also felt that it was important for her kids to see her reading and to see her taking time for herself, both things she wanted them to learn to do for themselves.

I know moms who would give a similar answer when asked about how they make the time to run, especially moms who train for and run long distances. (Shout-out to my friend Christy on this one - she’s dedicated and works damn hard to be so.)

For many of us, cooking feels like a chore and the idea that we could prioritize it in the name of self-care is beyond strange. I always liked cooking, but through college and grad school it was really a means to an end - the end being entertaining friends over a meal, which I loved doing. A turning point came in 2013/2014, when I was unemployed for nine months. Jon and I were long distance at the time and I lived alone in a studio apartment. My parents were nearby and I had Charlie, but I was lonely, directionless, and deeply depressed. I took refuge in food blogs, meal planning, and cooking elaborate dishes for myself. I went through my savings faster than I should have because recipes that called for a dozens of ingredients, multiple steps, and a hands-on approach helped me use up hours in the days and the farmers’ market became one of my primary weekly social outings. Cooking helped give me purpose, and it remained a source of comfort and fulfillment even after I got a new job.

I knew even before I became a mom that it would be important for me to maintain that once I had children; I had more than a few conversations with Jon about how he could support me in it when I was pregnant with Robbie. And yes, I noticed: it took four paragraphs for me to mention my husband, my partner in all things home and family. Jon is a great cook and would probably like to cook more for us, but I specifically asked him to step back in this area and he has respected that. He hates meal planning but cooperates when I ask him for input, which I appreciate!

In part two, I’ll talk about my meal planning process and how we navigate the 6-7pm window on weeknights with two young kids. I hope that you can find inspiration in how we make it work, but honestly I don’t know if there’s one magic thing you can do to love meal planning or cooking with young children around if you don’t already (or didn’t before having children). I think it might be like being a morning person: there are a million tips and tricks out there to make waking up and getting going earlier less painful but, as I hear from many owls, nothing is going to actually turn turn them into larks. If that’s you, I would just say… find ways to make meal planning and cooking as minimally painful as possible, and remember that, one day, those post-work hours will be yours again. In the immortal words of the Bible and the Byrds, to everything (turn turn turn) there is a season (turn turn turn).